I am a 19-year-old woman. I haven’t graduated from college, and I definitely don’t have any idea about what my future holds. I don’t have all of the answers, but I do have a pretty good grip on who I am and what I want out of life, as much as a teenager can. There are certain questions that I get asked almost daily that I don’t think adults would as a normal teenager. Maybe I am more mature for my age, or my writing portrays me as older than I am, or the organization and focus I have, or so I’ve been told that’s why I appear older. But, that doesn’t mean I’m not still a literal baby in terms of adulting. here are the questions I wish adults would stop asking me:
1. Do you ever want kids?
Excuse me, what? I quite literally wasn’t even physically able to produce kids until like 6 years ago. But, I have known for my whole life, I don’t want children. It is a personal choice and I don’t feel the need to have to defend myself every time someone says “you’ll change your mind! You’re still so young!” If you think I’m too young to make a decision about having children, why even bring it up? It digs into this routed sexism that I was made to have children in a sense. No one is asking my 19-year-old boyfriend these questions.
2. Why don’t you want to be single?
That is true, I am young. But I am also in a relationship of three years. Most of the people asking me know this and tell me to have a sort of sexual awakening. I know they are coming from a good place and don’t want me to settle, but I’m not. I am very happy with the person I have chosen to grow with and explore young adulthood with. I don’t feel the need to sleep around, and there is nothing wrong with whatever decision you make. Sleeping around doesn’t make you any different than someone who chose to be in a committed relationship, every choice is yours and every choice is a good one.
3. What are your plans for after college?
I know this is a genuine, good question, but I don’t know the answer. It stresses me out to answer this. I have no clue what job offers I will or won’t get out of college. I have two career paths I am preparing for at the moment, my life could go in so many directions, While I am excited about the future, I don’t have it figured out yet and this question makes me question the things I am doing and stress myself out.
4. Are you sure you should major in film?
This question is one of the main reasons I am double majoring in film and advertising. It made me realize that I need a backup plan. You would never ask a pre-med student if they’re sure they should be majoring in that. Or an engineer. Or Computer science student. So why ask me? It feels as if they’re trying to guide me to a more conventional field, which I appreciate the sentiment of you wanting me to be stable, but I wouldn’t be happy. We need to be more encouraging of the arts and those who don’t want a traditional career choice. Those who want to live creatively. Our paths are just as valuable as those who are doing different majors. It is a different need for the world, we will always need doctors, lawyers, engineers. But, we will also always need artists, cinematographers, and musicians. Our career path isn’t conventional, but it is just as necessary.