Happy Blogmas day 6! Today’s will be more of a conversation and personal experience with college rather than a list or not-as-personal article. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!

I love college, I really do. I love being independent, studying things I am actually interested in, and just exploring who I am as an adult. I enjoy doing hard work, studying, and wondering what I will be doing one day. There is so much to strive for in this life and that is what keeps me going every day.

You know people enjoy college and how exciting it is to start your life as an adult, but a lot of people don’t talk about scary or stressful parts. There are a lot of those. I get in my own head a lot about whether I am actually going to be successful, if I am doing enough, and if it is worth it to go through all of this work. I am tired all of the time. I am stressed out a good majority of the time.

It can be hard to adjust and thrive in college if you were “gifted” in elementary school and got through high school in a breeze. I am not going to lie, I had the worst work ethic in high school. I never did any work and relied on just how my brain is wired to get me good grades, and it did. Once I got to college I really had to show up and how out in the work ethic department or I would never make it. This caused me to fall back in the confidence zone and question whether I was actually capable of success or not.

I gained a significant amount of weight from a freak reaction to my birth control. With every damn pound I gained, I felt less and less like myself. I didn’t and still don’t fully feel like me. I find myself wondering if I’d be more successful if I was thinner or if I’d be happier. It is really hard for me to lose weight and I often get unmotivated in every aspect of my life if my confidence is low. It’s not easy to love yourself even though you should.

I feel like I am a loser sometimes. I don’t go out, I have very few really close friends, and most of the time I am studying or working on me. All of my peers are party animals and most still maintain good grades. I don’t want to go out and party every night, but a part of me feels like I am missing out on “the college experience.”

But no matter how I am feeling, I know every day spent working on yourself is not a day wasted. Every day you are on your own path that you created and you are doing just fine. Just know, that everyone goes through it and everyone has doubts.